Can't sleep thoughts

I will keep you all updated on how things are going tomorrow. I can't sleep, even though I am running on 4 hours of sleep. I have X next to me cuddled up, and Iz on the other side sprawled out. These kids are just like their mom when they sleep, hot; and by hot I mean like a furnace hot.

Well only a few hours until we start this whole surgery thing, I have so many thoughts running in my mind I was lying in bed thoughtless. The silence in my head was like an annoying alarm that wakes you up; you know you have to get up but you want to keep sleeping. In the same way I know I have to process my thoughts, but I want to sleep.

We go in at 9am tomorrow, and the surgery process starts at 11ish, lasting until 4ish. Remember it is only the grid they are placing tomorrow, and the begining of the test. I will post and keep everyone updated, with pictures too.

I do want to say one thing to anyone who reads this, thanks. I thank God that I have the people in my life that I do. Some of the friends I have known for years, and others only a few months; almost all of them have been incredible. I am blessed to be surrounded by other good fathers who love their children, and understand that sometimes all that needs to be done is listening. Guys often get bad raps for not listening, not allowing each other to hurt, not being supportive, or even emotional; I can say, without batting an eye, my friends are not these guys.

I have joked, laughed, hung-out, and even fought with these guys; but I have also cried, poured out my worries and heart, and sat in silence, and I am able to tell myself "Everything is going to be alright" partly because of them. They have reassured me, listened, allowed me to hurt, emotionally connected in ways that only other good men/fathers can do.

Some of these men have helped me/us out in other ways. Financial support, travel bags, toys, and "connections" have been all sent our way. I hope you all know that if there is ever a way I can be there for you let me know, until that day comes I will ask God to bless you. I will ask him that whatever you touch may turn to gold, and that you would never be in need. That you would be the type of men that your families are proud of and boast about to others. That your boys would know that you are a Man and a Champion for them, but also a tower for them to rest in when they are weak. That your daughters would see you as the first man who loved them, and didn't require anything from them. That your wives would see you for your strengths and not judge your weaknesses. I pray that God would keep you safe from any harm, and that other men would not speak evil of your good.

It is a bit easier for me to tell you guys this through this forum, but thanks. I really am praying that for all of you that have helped me thus far in this journey. You have made this so much easier on me, and my family by being as supportive as you have been, and offering the help that you have. I could never repay you, that is why I am asking God in the above prayer to. That is what I have to offer, besides manual labor, and my collection of shot glasses.

PS. my phone is broken, but I should be getting a new one in a day or two. Until then you can call my wifes phone or I will try to post our room phone later. I am also not spell checking this so if it is bad, sorry, I am waking IZ up with the typing-----Later