Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I tried, but I couldn't

As I drove home from work tonight I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of our 2 months at the Mayo Clinic/St. Mary;s hospital. It was the Casting Crowns song, "Praise you in this Storm", I sat in front of my house and listened to most of it before I went inside. Lots of memories are associated with that song, most of them are in one way or another filled with hope, causing me to want to look at some of the old post.

I tried, but I couldn't, not yet. I started to read some of your encouragement, desperately needed encouragement and it was refreshing. I then saw a photo of Sarah lying (I had to look that up to make sure I was using it in the right tense) next to X after his surgery, his scar looked fresh and his head grossly swollen. I had to stop there, I am not sure I am ready to relive any part of that yet. As a matter of fact, I know I am not, talking about it is one thing, seeing it is another. Sorry, I had to get that out, it's like therapy for me, letting it out.

Xander is loving school, I know it's only day two but at least he doesn't hate it. It wears him out, Sarah told me that at the end of the day, he was really tired and grouchy. She was too, cause she was asleep by 8:15 and not in the mood to talk. The twins were crazy monkeys and wanted to wrestle all afternoon, I had to make them lunch so I could get a break, they are nonstop and feed off each others energy. I think it's funny when one of them is scared and the other will conquer that fear for him by experiencing it and telling him "See, I'm brave. It's not scary". Here's how that played out this afternoon.

I was the bad guy and I was chasing them around the house. We got into our (Sarah's and mine) bedroom and they jumped on the bed to attack me. I attacked them and grabbed Israel's toes saying "I'm gonna eat your toes!!!!!!!!!!" Iz freaked out and yelled "No Daddy, don't eat my toes!!! I'm scared Daddy NOOO!!" Zane did not skip a beat and pushed me away, laid down where Iz was, pointed his feet in the air and said "Look, Look at me" (Talking to Iz who was crying). Iz watched him as he instructed me to "Eat my toes daddy". I pretended to eat them and he proceeded to tell Iz "See, it's not scary, I'm a brave boy, It's not scary, it's funny." Being reassured by his brother he fell into place and I had 20 toes on my face.

I loved it, and I was fascinated at how much they not only loved each other, but trusted each other too. That does not always go the way I want it to, as evident by their willingness to help each other up to otherwise inaccessible locations, like the basement wall or over fences. But when they work together to conquer fears it is fun to watch.

1 comment:

  1. It's so great to hear an update from you guys. I'm glad to hear how well Xander is doing & that he's enjoying school so far. And although I don't know you in person, I'd like to say I think you & Sarah are doing an incredible job with your kids and they will totally know how much you love, support and care for them. Don't feel a need to go over the past if you're not ready to; there's nothing saying you have to relive all that right now.

    You guys are so strong, and as always, your faith is an inspiration to me. Thanks :)